Chapter Five (chapters 1 - 4 are history)

11.30.04:::another year down:::

I turned 24 somewhere around lunchtime last Saturday. I think I like 24 alot more than 23... older... more mature... closer to another drop in insurance costs!
My birthday was great (aside from having this flu or virus or whatever it is I have). I woke up, watched Sleepless in Seattle, went to Target with Rocky, my mom, brother, and his girlfriend (Michelle)... then on to Chick-fil-a, get gussied up for a tasty Brazilian dinner complements of Brioso Brazil (and provided by Rocky) and then out for Martinis. It was a great birthday. Yay for good family and good friends.
Thanksgiving was just as good - family fun - good food - wine - movies - sleep... very nice indeed.
Aside from the two highlights, I've been a bit under the weather (and by a bit I mean COMPLETELY under the weather). I have a flu or a virus of some sort. It's making me really achey and fevery and blah. Hopefully it goes away soon.

Well - I don't have much to say when I'm sick, so I'll end here.

11.16.04:::oddities and such:::

The weather is pissing me off. It's too warm for November. Tomorrow is supposed to be 73, but they predict snow in one week - SNOW when tomorrow is 73... SNOW 7 days from 73. I thought Texas weather was odd. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the snow - but it's not going to be cold enough to gather. :( They are lighting the square this weekend and it isn't even going to be cold *sigh* So much for picturesque.
I've been spending the evening listening to my Radiohead "OK Computer" cd... I forgot out great that CD was. Oh, that and Massive Attack - both evoke TOTALLY different emotions from me. Radiohead seems to be evoking a very apathetic emotion from within me (the I could not go to work tomorrow and not really care emotion) and Massive Attack just turns me on. Can't help it - it's good music like that. That is why one buys Massive Attack isn't it?
Oooh - it makes me want to listen to Stereolab - funny, I can't find any of my Stereolab CDs. Hm.
I need to start working out. I've become such a lump. By the time I get off work it's already dark out - can't really go jogging at night (okay, I could but it can't be that safe). Maybe I need a subscription to a gym... there are a few around town. Get back on those elipticals!
I think that is it for my slew of random thoughts for the evening.
I'm out.

11.14.04:::and back by morning:::

I do believe that this weekend was the shortest Austin trip I've been on since the one day drumline camps the summer before my freshman year as a student there. However short it was, it was also the PERFECT one night get away. I really needed some Texas time. Barbara and I were going to go see The Polar Express at the IMAX, but it was quite sold out so we went to some stores and just hung out instead. It was great... I miss my old roommate :( We had Double Daves and watched some of the game, went to the Co-op where I proceeded to buy a $50.00 cowboy had, a bubba bull, and a mug (all purchased with my rebate of course). We then do a few other "haning out" type things.... OOOOH, and we went to the new Cracker Barrel there... thank goodness I don't live there anymore or that store would be the end of me. I don't lie either, money would be spent there. We had Hula Hut for dinner (Nummy!!!) and rented Day After Tomorrow and bummed around. I met her new kitty (Jezabelle) and had a good nights sleep listening to a Texas thunder storm out of my window. It was quite nice. I had to come home today, but not before brunch at Trudy's with Sara and Barbara. I miss my Sara too... very much! I am so excited for her though. She got a job in Dallas for the end of January and yay for that! I'll go visit her and show her the North Texas ropes. *jealous* SO - don't get my wrong... I love my apartment, my job, my location, my new friends, and being near my family, but I do miss Texas. I'm sorry, but I'm Texas born and bred - can't help but long for that state.
A friend of mine picked me up and gave me "Cozyheart Penguin" (Carebear Cousin) as a "welcome home" surprise. Yeah, my friends here are pretty awesome. It's quite a cute little guy and I really wanted him after I found him a couple of weeks ago. And yay! Now I have him :) Cute little Cozyheart... I just need a shelf to put my penguin collection on. There are some penguin PJ bottoms at Old Navy that I wouldn't mind having - perhaps someone will remember that come my birthday in two weeks.
My God... two weeks and I'll be 24. Is there an abort button on turing 24? I suppose it will be a good thing, but it seems like I just turned 23! Gracious.
On another topic - I have so many things to say to a few different people and I just need to get those things off my chest... be it online or in person or over the phone, I just need to say them and let them be said. No expectation of a reply, I just need to get them out of my head. I think that would be quite theraputic.
To all of my Austinites I saw and didn't see this weekend - I miss you all terribly and can't wait until my resume is padded enough here in Arkansas that I can move home and set up shop in Austin once more. *hugs to all*

Goodnight

11.11.04:::dust:::

Tonight I saw The Incredibles... quite entertianing in my opinion. Definitely a Pixar to see in theaters.

I really don't think I have too much to say today - once again, I've been doing alot of thinking today. I see the one thing I wish for happen to other people - people luckier than I... I can only hope that one day...I'm sure anyone who is reading this is reading something other than I mean - the song "This Grudge" by Alanis really sums up alot - but sometimes it is hard to let go. You can easily cover things up, put other things in front of your feelings, try to hide it, try to forget it, overshadow it, make it small and minescule - but it's always there until you let go... I don't know if I can do that yet. I thought I had - for over two months I thought I had. But the end of that just made me realize I hadn't... and other recent events have shown me that I haven't. It's just hard to put away something you enjoyed so much I suppose. In the end that is all it is.

So I'll end with these lyrics...

"I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released..."
"This Grudge" ~ Alanis

11.10.04:::Austin by Saturday:::

...hey girl come with me and let yourself go...

O.A.R
of a revolution
"In Between Now and Then"
- This is currently my favorite CD. I can't get enough it. I'm hooked. That is all to be said. I just love the sound more than anything.

On other news - I am officially going to Austin Saturday morning and will be returning Sunday afternoon (which means no Kansas game - but I'll survive). I had a craving for Kerbey Lane today and I think I'll go down there and satisfy that. Lucky for me I have American Airlines benefits and friends that are so excited to put me up for the night. I'll be staying with Barbara and I'll get to meet her new Kitty Cat! I'm so excited. I'm really quite beside myself. I want to do my happy dance but no one will be here to witness it in all of it's glory. I think I'll save it for work.

Speaking of happy dances - I did one tonight at Hobby Lobby. I went to look at Christmas Decorations... correction, I went to look at poster frames and got sidetracked in the glittery meca of red and green. I walked out with a small tree for my kitchen table and all of the necessary trimmings... and no poster frame. Luckily the person I was with understood my obsession with the Holidays and carried ornaments while I darted from aisle to aisle ooing and ahing over the grand commercialism. Yay for good WAC friends and their tolerance.

I have the windows open tonight to listen to the rain and I think it's really messing with the Schmoo - which is way more entertainin than it should be. She's not used to the sound of rain I suppose. She's been running around yowling at me (hopefully it's just the rain... I'd feel bad if something was actually wrong and I've been laughing at her). The rain was completely peaceful... it's something I needed. While I've had a good day (it was perfect outside, always a good day with perfect weather) I've also had a day of thoughts. I went to lunch with my sister and told her about this weekend and got sad again. I just don't know how I feel about everything. Some parts of me relieved, some parts of me still a bit sad. I was talking to someone online tonight and she typed a dancing smiley which BJ always typed - made me think of him. I think I miss the friend more than anything. To be expected I'm sure.

And now for your viewing enjoyment and in honor of my last minute mini-vacation - the Austin Skyline. Goodnight all.

11.9.04:::eh - I was wrong:::

Okay - I don't think anything is missing. I thought about it long and hard tonight (I was really listenng to Kronos Quartet live, but it left my mind to wander).
I shall post a list of qualities and such I want in a guy/man that I had done up last March or April - and I'll either modify it or add to it (the first 9 are the original 9 and additions and changes are obvious)
:::
1. College graduate (or close to it). - this is OH SO IMPORTANT
2. Has goals beyond college.
3. Non smoker/substance abuser. - once again - a must
4. Fan of many types of music.
5. Fun, but serious when need be.
6. Not skin and bones (I hate scrawny - it's not my type at all)
7. Knows how to argue - give me a challenge on that one.
8. Isn't pushy about time. I have my space, give it to me.
9. Angelic on the outside but oh so unangelic when it really comes down to it.
10. Likes sports but doesn't plan his week around it.
11. Will tell me when something is bothering him instead of waiting for me to bring it up.
12. Tells me how he feels about me - what he's thinking - what he's feeling.
13. Tells me if I'm cute, pretty, smart, interesting, fun, etc.
:::
Okay - I think those are fair additions. Can't sell myself short this early in life.

On the topic of Kronos - tonight's concert was nothing short of amazing. They really are one of my favorite instrumental ensembles! I'm glad this evening was spent at Walton Arts Center enjoying that show.

And now for my new topic. I keep posting things like "things i need to do before Christmas" and such - well, how about a list of "to-do" for the end of the week. Christmas is too far away (and yet - oh so close at the same time) to plan to have something done by then. I will just procrastinate as always and never finish it. SO, task number one for this weekend - FINISH SCRAPBOOK!!! I have a ton of odds and ends that need to be put in my scrapbook from my years at UT. It's all just sitting in bags right now.
Task number two for the weekend - START FLEECE BLANKET!!! I think those are doable tasks. Not too time consuming and fun as well. I'll update you on whether or not I actually get them done. Cross your fingers for me.

I have a confession to make (and perhaps an apology as well). I was talking to Mark last night and he told me about his getting to go to Europe for Christmas. I listened for a bit and then told him I didn't really want to discuss it because it made me realize how much I want to go and can't ('cause of education bills, hospital bills, and life basically). I feel HORRIBLE today for that. If I was going to Europe for the holidays I would want to tell everyone about it. Mark - I am very, truly, utterly sorry that I cut that conversation short last night. I've been in a melancholy mood and Europe was the last thing I wanted to talk about last night. Please pardon my bitchiness.

To go to Kansas this weekend for a football game or not - I don't know if I really want to go. I got the tickets for me and BJ and without his wanting to go I'm kind of apathetic about it. Should I go or just stay home to work on my many projects?

And it's late - goodnight.

11.7.04:::something missing:::

Tonight I can't really tell if I'm sad or just emotional (two different things). I'll be fine - cleaning out my soup pan - and then just cry. The past two weeks have not been happy once, but before that I was quite happy. I wonder how life works sometimes. I really hate feeling like this though. I shall make a promise to myself - NO BOYFRIENDS UNTIL I DECIDE WHERE I'M GOING TO SPEND MORE THAN A COUPLE OF YEARS. There, it's a good promise I think. Keeps me from getting hurt in the meantime I suppose.
On another note, I really did a good job cleaning my apartment up this morning! It's nice and shiney and smelly good. At least something productive occured this weekend.

Sometimes you need a break and you don't get one. Life sucks like that.

11.6.04:::aftermath:::

after all is said and done - I feel that a HUGE weight has been lifted off of me today. However, I do wish he would have said something when he felt things were over. I HATE being drug along - but 'tis finished. While I'm quite sad... I'm also ready to not have to worry about it anymore. The past two weeks have been a bit of a drag.
Well, Texas pulled it off tonight. HUGE kudos to my team. I was a bit worried through dinner and then didn't look at the score again after halftime because I was devestated. I then come home, boot up the computer and check the score - HOLY CRAP - we pulled off over 50 points in the game... 56 to 35 or something like that. Take that OSU. I'm doing my happy longhorn dance up here in Fayetteville. I wish I could have been at that game.
Off to clean out the cat box and get ready for bed. Goodnight.

11.5.04:::sucking the life indeed:::

F*ck Oklahoma. That is all I have to say about that. There is only one good thing about Oklahoma - it keeps all of it's inbred rednecks contained. If there was no OK then they would spread out and some might filter into my beloved Texas. They let some guy off on Marijuana charges, but not me with my tiny speeding ticket that wasn't even mine... I know that without a doubt. Oh well. Life moves along I suppose.
I did some kind of "ancient chinese test" thingy online tonight where you rank animals and come up with description words for different things and all of this says something about you (yadda yadda). Well, I used "salt" to describe ocean. That is supposed to represent my current life. Yeah... "salt" pretty much sums it up. A bit of it is wonderful, but just a grain more is WAY too much. Open wounds don't want salt and unfortunately, I seem to have a few open wounds. Some are new, some I thought had healed, so I suppose that hadn't afterall. It really made more sense than it should have.
So - I have something new to look forward to. Barbara is coming to down at the beginning of December. This is also Sara's graduation in Austin, but I'm going to go down there the next weekend to visit her. It just didn't work out for me to get there - and I have to work a bit late on that Friday so I would have been getting into Austin QUITE late. This all works out better. So... YAY for Barbara coming to Fayetteville.
Well, it's been a very long day. I'm going to go cozy up under my covers and read my Alcade (Texas Exes publication)

night all

11.3.04:::should have known:::

I really should have known from the onset. I should have stuck to my guns about not finding someone I like here in Arkansas. I found someone I like very much and it's hurt me - once again I'm hurt by a guy. I need to stop doing that. Maybe I need a new hobby... or a 2nd job... or something. This Erin is a sad panda.
On other topics - I'll be heading to the lovely town of Colcord, OK tomorrow to argue this stupid speeding ticket. Lovely time I'll have there I'm sure.

Could be worse I suppose... could be worse.

11.2.04:::vote:::

This election is TOTALLY stressing me out. I really don't know how I'll react if Bush wins - pack up and move to Canada when my lease is up perhaps. Heh, who knows. I was surprised with California going Kerry! There is hope in the world. Oh, and Travis county went for Kerry (yay Austin, TX). I'll just have to wait and see what happens (but the ulcer is starting to form). I'm having to watch the remainder of the election online since I couldn't sit up at work ALL night mooching off of their tv (i don't get the cable - it sucks). Hopefully Yahoo! is on top of their updating for the remainder of the evening.
In other news, I'll be in Austin in a month! THANK GOD. I need some Austiness in my life. Loving it here, however, missing it there (that's allowed). I'll get some real Texan Tex-Mex and hang with the clan. Oh, and perhaps hit up 6th street and hug a Longhorn. I'll be there for the graduation of my Sara. How very happy graduations are!
Welp - I think I shall go sit and not stress out over the election and dream of the Thai food I'll be eating tomorrow night.

nini

10.23.04:::finding a voice:::

I have so much to say... many things... important things. However, I'm really finding it hard to find the voice to say them. I always walk on eggshells and I seriously need to stop. I have no reason to - I need to say my piece and just let it go. How do I go about doing that?

I spent the day in Eureka Springs. I must say, it was quite the perfect day for that. The trees were pretty colors, the weather perfect, and the salt water taffy tasty! There is only one thing that could have made it better - however we must refer to the topic that started this post. I just spent the day strolling, chatting, a bit of working, and then spent the evening watching some amazing dancing. Pilobolus Too is quite impressive. Oh - I even fit some baked brie into my day! yum.

Gosh - I really don't have much to say tonight. Sorry about that. I'll get some pictures up soon as well.
Night all.

10.21.04:::so what?:::

So what if I'm a hopeless romantic? Is it wrong of me to want the googly talk, a flower, enthusiasm, holding hands and skipping through a field, candles, quiet dinners for two, random calls just to say "hi", sweet messages, whispers, dreams... is that so wrong? I don't think I'm wanting too much. I think I just need to find it or let it come to me or something. I'm not going to be completely happy without the hopeless romantic in me getting some of the action. Sometimes it would like to think it's getting it's due... and sometimes it just sits somewhere inside of me watching reruns of Friends. I'm so fucking back and forth - it's not even funny. *sigh*
Did anyone who reads this site do the free ipod thing? I know someone who got theirs... and I was just curious if anyone else did. I just did one, but it's a free Kitchen Aid Stand mixer (yes, I am that domestic). Who knows, maybe I'll be surprised one day when there is the ONE kitchen item I've been wanting for well over 4 years just sitting on my porch. That would be quite the lovely thing. I think the first thing I would whip up would be my yummy chocolate chips cookies! mmmmMMMmmm. This offer better bet legit. I checked them out with the BBB online and everything *crosses fingers*
Random though - the Schmoo is hyper - I wish I had her energy. She just runs back and forth and back and forth - jumps on the bed - jumps on the tables - back and forth back and forth. It's exhausting!
Another random though - I really want to go camping. Here I am in the middle of some BEAUTIFUL countryside, and I'm not camping. What is wrong here? I shall go in search of someone to camp with. I believe that no one should camp alone - what if you had to battle a bear! Heh. Maybe camping alone would be theraputic however. Nevermind, half of the fun is sharing your hot cocoa with someone.
This weekend I get to go to Eureka Springs! I have really been looking forward to this for quite sometime (probably since I started working at WAC). Pilobolus Too will be performing at the Auditorium in Eureka and I shall make a day out of it. I'll look at the lovely trees changing colors, stross, relax, and have a candied apple of course! Can't forget that :)
And that leaves me with one final thought: You really can't let life pass you by... some things happen every year, some things you only get one chance with.

10.19.04:::me me me:::

BJ and his doggie

Time to focus on me again. I keep losing site of what I decided to do last spring break... focus on me... reach my goals... do what I need to do to be happy. However, I've forgotten what it is that will make me happy. Can one single person make me as happy in one year has he makes me now? Can I continue to be happy just working or do I need to go back to school like I wanted to do just a few months ago? Am I happy here in Fayetteville (I am liking my location more and more everyday and eventually I will make more friends)? Where do I want to live in 5 years? Northern California (yes please), Philly (yes please), Toronto (YES please) - see.... too many choices in life. I think I just need to start dreaming again. Day dreams always fueled my wants before, I just have gotten away from the day dreams and need to find my way back.
This weekend I went to Tuscaloosa with BJ to meet his parents and friends. I have to say, it was a good time. We went to the Alabama vs. Southern Mississippi game on Saturday and yay for Alabama - they won! BJ's parents were very nice as were his friends... totally different crowd than the type of people I hung out with in college... not bad different, just different different. Unfortunately - the weekend was quite short. I would have enjoyed spending more time there. Oh well. Next I'll be taking BJ to Austin to meet my friends. He's met Stephanie, but there is still the Sara test to pass :)

Random thoughts of the day:
I need to clean my apartment (the dust bunnies on the hardwood floor are multiplying)
Coffee really does the number on your pearly whites - no more coffee for me
Cookies really do the number on your middle - no more cookies for me
I'm ready for Christmas

10.13.04:::two feet behind:::

yeah - we are that cute!

Two feet behind is exactly what I've been all week. I can't seem to get caught up at work. Everytime I turn around, there is a new phone call, a new client event, a new meeting, a new file to go through, a new hotel to book, car to book, food to plan/buy... I just need two more hours in my day and I don't have two hours to give. It seems if someone has to bitch at work, it comes to me and I'll file it with the correct person. I don't believe that was in my job description. Okay - it's not everyone, it's just 1% of the people... which really narrows it down to one person. Thankfully tomorrow is my Friday (since I won't be at work on the normal Friday) and I'll have a three day weekend OUT of town where people can't call me with silly things.
I also feel two feet behind in life right now. Just when I think things are grand, something rears its ugly head and reminds me it's not. Like... this weekend. I had WAY too much fun with Stephanie. We shopped, gossiped, looked at pictures, shopped, ate, drank, and were merry of course. On the way home from Tulsa I got a ticket for going 15 miles faster than I actually was. I SWEAR that he pulled over the wrong white car. It was dark, it was rainy, it was dark... did I mention the dark part? I'm still a bit pissed about it. I want to go to my court date to try and make Mr. Oklahoma police man see the error of his ways, but I also don't want to use personal work time to do that. Decisions decisions.
I also feel two feet behind for other reasons. I've been here since May 23rd and still I sit at home at night when everyone else is having fun. It's things like this that reallllly remind me why I want to move back to Austin... where my friends are... where my haunts are... you know, where everyone knows my name... that place. While there are happy things here, sometimes I just sit being sad and I hate that. I'm not a sad person... only really have been once (okay - twice, one was due to outside circumstances). I just don't feel included in anything. I've always been included... I've always tried to include others... this is just a new and very empty feeling. It leaves me questioning things.

On happier notes - Godiva Hot Cocoa has to be the BEST cocoa that can be bought ready to make. I made some up tonight and it reminded me WHY I love cold weather. What isn't to love about the cold? You can wear jackets, boots, scarves, mittens, sweaters, blankets, fuzzy socks, drink cocoa, have hot soup with warm crusty bread, make casseroles, make fires and sit by them, listen to Christmas songs (even if it isn't December) and almost get into the mood because, once again, it's cold outside. Cold makes the leaves turn amazing colors here in Arkansas. There is this one tree on the way to my mom's place (on Mission) and it's the most vibrant red. Everytime I drive by it my breath is taken away. I wish I could capture it forever, but always forget my camera when I'm out there.
Well, the cocoa has been drunk and my lids are heavy, so I bid bon nuit.

une bonne nuit au perroquet bleu

10.7.04:::like a recipe:::

I suppose almost everything in life is like a recipe. Some recipes give you more freedom... those are the less important things in life. Some recipes, however, require EXACT measurements (like baking)... those things are oh so important (don't want to mess up a thing like baking soda, that really screws up a muffin). And that is all I have to say on that subject.
Stephanie comes tomorrow. We shall shop, drink margaritas at OTB, gossip, laugh, make fun of people who have bad fashion taste, talk about all of the bitches we've known through the years, and maybe drink another margarita! HEY, girls have their priorities. I have not seen her since her Wedding (eek). I'm a bad friend... I know, I was busy last year.... then I was depressed... then I was busy again... and then I moved. I've had excuses! But yay for her coming. I'm really looking forward to it.
The Red River Shootout is this weekend (hook 'em). I'm looking forward to it. I think we'll play better this year than in past years... at least, I hope so. I'm crossing my fingers on this one. This picture is in honor of the game.

scenes like this really aren't found at the red river shootout... I think Neo staged it.

10.3.04:::fourteen point five:::

14 and a half hours was the amount of time I spent working today. The alarm rudely went off at 6:15 AM so I could be at work by 7AM... 7:10 am - the police show up because my building code is obviously not the right one. So - the morning started off with a bang. I get drinks and breakfast set up for the La Traviata Load in crew by 8:15am. Then off to Wal-Mart for lunch stuff (of course I had breakfast along the way). Back to WAC to set up lunch, watch crew devour lunch, clean up. Off to Sam's for dinner stuff... then to Wal-Mart again because Sam's sucked today (note to Sam's, get more packaged mayonaise salads... potato alone does not cut it). Then back to WAC to sit for 30 minutes and sip a soda with Mari. Then to set up dinner, cut 8 sandwich rings (because once again Sam's sucks just enough to not cut my $200 worth of sandwiches). Set up dinner, watch the crew and cast devour EVERY last crumb (although there was one orange wedge left - odd). Clean up, set up for breakfast, home. *sigh* I'll be back up there at 7am to play this game again. However, tomorrow ends at noon. I think I need a massage.

This weekend was fun. Friday I went out to my moms and slept in the country. It was QUIET, the breeze coming in the windows was cool and refreshing, and it was motorcycle free. At least Bikes Blues and BBQ ended today. As entertaining as it was to see all of that spectacle, it was way too noisy last night to get any sleep at all. Yeah, I'm working on 3 full hours of it! I think I had a caffine iv all day :)
Saturday was spent doing random things. Prowled Dickson being entertained by bikers, lunch with the family, ice cream with grandma, filed some stuff, cleaned, used a razorblade to cut open my windows (they were painted shut) and just relaxed. Even though today was long, this was a very good weekend. HOWEVER, i miss BJ very much. Erin = sap.
Hmmm - that might be all I have for you today.

this picture pretty much sums up how i feel right now

9.30.04:::my vote... Kerry:::

the sunset on Tuesday night

based on the lack of silence during the debate alone. I was SOOOOO tired of watching Bush just sit there and stumble over his words or not having any words at all. COME ON!!! Think faster. November 2nd - go vote... if you don't I'll kick you in the knee.
It was the first time I actually sat and watched the debate... and paid attention (only occasionally did I take a gander at my new Marie Claire magazine). I knew before the debate who had my vote and the debate just solidified it. I know there are two (tentatively) more debates, but if they are anything like tonight's, it's a guarantee I won't be hanging with elephants come November 2nd.
This weekend shall proove to be interesting. Tomorrow night is a bachelorette party for a girl I work with. My downstairs neighbor is planning it and it sounds like fun. Tex-mex and drinks on Dickson. Yay for that. I'll just ignore the fact that we'll be fighting bikers for a place at the bar. That brings me to my next activity this weekend. Bikes, Blues, and BBQ. I'll be trekking out on Saturday to view all things leather. It should proove to be interesting at least. I did smell some good BBQ today and played a game at the Bic booth and won... you guessed it... a Bic pen. Oh fun times during my lunch hour.
Sunday is gonna be a long day. La Traviata is in that night and the hospitality for it starts at 8AM. Blah. I won't be back home until around 8PM I'm sure. Oh well, it just gives me Friday off without having to take the hours away from my "bank of hours". So yay for that.
I'm feeling better about everything than I did a few days ago. Things happen like they are supposed to. Life goes on. I'll figure things out. I'm really quite happy with my life right now, no need to let the lack of money bring me down.
Something that has been making me incredibly happy lately. This fantastic gentleman I know (BJ). He makes me smile, he makes me laugh... no... giggle, I make him laugh, he talks with his hands, he doesn't mind when I can't get a single ball in the pocket when we play couple vs. couple at pool, he likes to hold my hand, he doesn't mind raspberries, he actually liked the Texas hat I got him for the game in November, he tells his friends about me, his friends like me, he's smart, he's cute, he's comfortable, and my mom likes him.
Yeah. He's pretty fantastic. Too bad he's out of town this weekend - making it the second weekend in a row we couldn't spend some kind of time together. The thing that really gets to me is just spending one day a week together, or two if we're both in town on weekends. *sad sigh* I hate being a girl - girls get sappy. Sappy is bad... i think. Any opinions on that?
I did a bad thing at Wal-Mart tonight. I bought Nutella. Nutella is the devil of the breakfast/dessert world. I was weak, it was in front of me, it was in my cart. What could I do? weak weak weak
Sooooo... I'm gonna plan a trip to the DFW area soon. I don't know when, but I know it's coming. I have too many people to see down there - Stephanie, Lisa, McKee, Mark B., my Dad... too many people. Too many for on weekend.

Well - 'tis time for a shower. Scrubby scrubby.

9.23.04:::Pilobolus:::

I went and saw Pilobolus tonight - AMAZING. Makes me wish I could move like them. Wow. I want a body like theirs as well. Ah well - curves it is.
Tomorrow I leave for Austin! Yay for a mini road trip with Christy! I've been look forward to this for over a month now.
I am ready for a couple of days back home, back in Texas, back with Austin. *sigh*
OH - I saw Scott Wolf tonight at the Arts Center - see... Fayetteville is cool enough for Scott Wolf!
I don't have much to say tonight.
Ummm... gotta go pack.

Nini.

9.20.04:::i missed my calling:::

Tonight I made chicken enchiladas - yeah, from scratch. I didn't even have a recipe, which I was slightly worried about when I started (fear that they might not taste as imagined and such). However, after 45 minutes of toil away above my little gas stove/oven - I was left with 12 of the most magnificent chicken and blackbean enchiladas. Yummmm! Plenty for all. I'm finishing it off with an equally yum dessert. Fun times in the kitchen tonight. I think I'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing over a magazine.
This past weekend was spectacular. On Friday I went to the Glen Campbell concert (I enjoyed it more than I thought I would!) and then off to Dickson to meet up with BJ, Ryan, Kendra, Tony, Chris, and some other folk who I just met for the first time on Friday. Even though half of my martini was spilled (just when it starts to get good) it was still a GREAT time. I was met at the table by Kendra who had a shot ready for me (Purple shooter?) It's really nice to have some friends up here that are fun to hang out with. We ended the night at Denny's. It's funny - I didn't have a group to do that with in college (I had lots of friends that like to go out, just none that I would want to go hang on 6th with), I move to smalltown USA and find a GREAT group to hang with.
Saturday was a day with BJ in the Boston Mountains. We hiked down and back up a mountain, saw some Native American carvings, sat on rocks, walked through spider webs, and just had fun. I heard that Saturday was the hottest day we've had this summer - I don't doubt that. I was hating life for a few minutes while coming back up the mountain. We then did the whole "get cleaned up and go to town" thing.
50 First Dates is a cute movie... if you haven't seen it, rent it. I recommend it. It's silly Adam Sandler stuff but quite cute indeed.
On Sunday I did the weekend errands thing. Washed the car, spent money at Wal-Mart, ummmm... cleaned up a bit around here. That evening, BJ and I went to Kendra and Tony's to cook some Asian cuisine, drink wine, and watch "Dead Like Me". What a GREAT show. I'm hooked. Too bad I don't have Showtime.
Anyways - after that play by play, I must just conclude that I had a GREAT weekend.
Today it was back to the "omigawd SUCH and SUCH is coming in two days and we don't have transportation booked for them yet" kind of work week. Someone send me some love, I'm going to need it by the time I hit the skies for DFW airport on Friday. At least I have Alumni Band stuff to look forward to.
Peace.

Pictures from Saturday

Steve Madden shoes = good

So far today has been one of those days that can only best end with the ordering of a pepperoni and mushroom pizza and the consumption of at least two Woodchuck ciders.  Not that anything bad happened today – but today was the day I found out that the work I have to do tomorrow has tripled.  It might be one of those “start the work day at 7:30 and end it at 10PM” kind of days.  The Glen Campbell concert isn’t the part that is really getting me, it’s the NASO part of it.  I didn’t know I was going to be doing their hospitality, and as SOON as I found out, I also got a call that all of my expensive coffee cups were gone.  Who knows who has been using them (not that my average reader cares) but this only means I not only have to go play the Wal-Mart game tomorrow, but I’ll also have to play the Sam’s Club game.  The Wal-Mart game is okay – however, the Sam’s game requires that I drive 7.5 miles in bad traffic and stuff boxes that don’t fit in my trunk into my… trunk (figure that one out) and drive 7.5 miles in the same traffic back all to make it to work in time for a tour.   Oy!  Gotta love it.  Actually… I thrive on it once I get going, but it still will call for pizza and ciders tonight.

evening update: when was the last time i cried before tonight - when I thought Schmoo had gotten outside and lost before I moved up here? I can't remember. I don't even know why I layed there and silently cried. I didn't think I had that in me today. It was weak really. I didn't think I was that weak anymore.
At least someone from the past still thinks I'm cute (if not cuter than I used to be) - that made me feel good. Talking to him made me really miss friends I haven't seen since Chris' funeral. I need to get back home and visit people. I thnk I'll make that a priority. People there seem to miss me.

...and you were someone who could always tell me things I don't know, and tell me where to go, and there I always go...

9.13.04:::and it starts:::

tomorrow I start back on Weight Watchers. I have a long enough break since I moved up here and it's time to lay off the oreos and Smoothie King and get back to being healthy (no - smoothie king is NOT healthy - don't convince me it is).
I've gotten used to being a smaller size than I was for the past few years and now that I'm used to it, I'm ready to aim for the size I was in HS (it's just the next one down - I can do this). Anyone for some moral support? Anyone in town wanna walk/jog go find an eliptical with me? Anyone... anyone at all?

So this early morning today really killed my brain. I didn't function at all today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. And on the "functioning" note, I would feel much better about myself if I could find something to do with my evenings. I'm going to start looking into volunteering at the animal shelters, or finding some class to take at night (since my pottery thing didn't work out). I just get bored at night and end up napping or sitting at this thing. I've really done all of the projects I have room to do at this apartment and it's time for other things. I shall start a list of things I can do:
1. Make that fleece blanket I bought stuff for in May.
2. Make those shirts I bought patterns for in May (no fabric however)
3. Finish fancying up my computer - anyone care to help?
4. Relearn to knit (since I have forgotten since two years ago)
5. Finish that stocking I started last November
6. Make something to hide the hole in my bathroom wall.
7. Start making Christmas presents for friends and family since I'll be as broke at Christmas as I am now.

Okay - so that list should get me started, but I still feel like I'll need to get out and do something. Ideas?

Well - I'm going to put up the oreos (since tonight was my last night to eat them without feeling guilty) and brush these teech of mine and head to bed.

Bon nuit.

9.12.04:::and the little piggies fell:::

So - the Longhorns might not have played their best game ever yesterday, but at least we didn't screw up a win. Not only did Arkansas "give" us the two points we won the game with, but they also screwed themselves with the lost chance at a field goal which would have won them the game. So - too bad Razorbacks. Payback hurts I'm sure. The best part were OUR fans partying on their turf with our band playing and playing and playing. I love Longhorn Football. I really love the fact that my mom and I had bet dinner on the game and we aren't talking some crapola dinner at Taco hell. Heheh. Yay for that. I get a free dinner!

I've decided something - I'm better than an old toy at the bottom of a toy box that get's pulled out and played with every now and then. Maybe I'm better than all the other toys. People never really know those kinds of things until that toy is gone.

I need to iron. Le sigh to that.

Since I have to wake up and be at work at 6AM in the morning, I think I'll call it a night.



Two weeks and counting. Hook 'em.

Melodie, Sara, and I at the game - yeah - we're that cute.

9.9.04:::sick days:::

So I didn't work today. No voice really. It's hard to work if you can't talk. So, I sat in bed, went to wal-mart for some medicine, and sat in bed some more. My mom did come save me from my boredom this evening. We got dinner and drove around town looking for some houses for sale. I found one I want. However, I don't see $197,000 house in my budget within the next few days.
'Tis only 2 days until the game. I'm quite excited but a bit apprehensive all at the same time. I'm certainly not leaving my car in town that evening. You always hear of rampages and overturned cars after games; and the Razorbacks are really holding this game as their biggest of the season. Wal-Mart even has "Beat Texas" shirts for sale. What is this world coming to... really? I cross my appendages for a win on Saturday night. It would suck, and I emphasize suck, if Texas loses. So... hook 'em and such.
So - my pottery class was a bust. It filled up so I couldn't get a free spot. But I can go to the open studios on Saturday morning and learn how to do some pottery there. So I think I'll take them up on that offer. I would have rather had the class, but oh well.
That's all the mundane information I have for you this evening.
Nini.

It’s typical, really, that the weather turns amazingly beautiful and I get sick.  Doesn’t this happen every year at least once for me?  I think it does.  I take my vitamins, eat my fruits and veggies, and get plenty of sleep, and still, once a year about this time I get sick.  Joy of joys.  It could be worse – a cold I can live with, it’s pains I can’t.  So this cold is not all that bad.

evening update: don't act like you care if you don't really care. I have enough to deal with otherwise.

9.6.04:::so right now:::

...my eyes are so wide/like you reached right into my head/and turned on the light inside...

I have to say - this was probably the best weekend I've had in quite some time. A recap, shall we?
Friday: got off work a bit early, came home, napped, got my freezer door fixed, got my banister fixed, BJ came over and we laughed and smiled and had fried okra (yummm) and then we went for an evening drive around Fayetteville (went up to look out over the city at night and make fun of people neckin' and to comment on the Methodist commune that sits atop Mt. Sequoia) and then went for Shakes and then washed my car. Fun times.
Saturday: Farmer's market, hang at my moms with my brother, his girlfriend, my mom, sister, future brother in law, nieces, and of course BJ. We cooked out, we ate too much, and we sat around. That night my two nieces came over to hang with me. We watched movies, they ate pringles, and we slept. Life was good.
Sunday: Off to Bentonville to hang with BJ and his friends. More cooking out, some viewing of tennis, some chatting, some Office Space, and some Keith Izzard (funny funny stuff). The entire day was spectacular. Never have I felt so comfortable around another person's friends as I did yesterday (well... other than Chris', but his friends were my friends as well - so entirely different situation). I hope to spend more time with all of them as I had a great time. I really must say, all of this is much more than I expected *grins*
Today was an outting to the Clothesline fair with my mom, sister, Rick, and nieces. We looked at crafts, pet puppy dogs, listened to some great blue grass music, had funnel cakes, and just enjoyed the outstanding weather.

What a weekend. Too bad it's over, but I do have Saturday to look forward to (hook 'em)

Bon nuit.

I’m all moved into my new, very cool, and very all mine apartment.  I still have the scattered boxes, but most are unpacked and I’m just waiting on getting some storage space put in (plastic bins, shelves put up, etc).  I cannot express to you how much I love my place.  So far I seem to have a place for everything.  I’m quite shocked about that.  I thought I was going to have to take a TON of stuff back to my mom’s for storage, but it doesn’t look that way.  I’ve even cooked a “real” meal there.  By real I mean not one of those frozen “just add water” things.  I made brunch on Sunday.  Yay for my gas stove and it’s super fast heating of my cookware. 

I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually, but $200 for benefits and taxes EACH paycheck is still quite shocking to me.  It’s a bit more than I had planned when I did a budget, however, I would NOT trade that for no benefits.  Benefits alone are more than that if I had to pay for them myself and so I suppose it really isn’t that bad.  Someone please reaffirm that for me.

My God!  Just dealing with Tripod over the past few weeks has been slightly short of suicide inducing.  I can once again update my site and will be doing so with much enthusiasm (you miss that when you can’t bitch about mundane things online).  I’ll also be getting some lovely pictures up for those of you who have been complaining about the lack of pictures.  Sorry – I was busy – computer was slow – then tripod crapped out on me.  I shall make it up to you.